The Absolute Worst Toronto Maple Leafs Poem On the Internet

The Original manuscript of the poem 'Cinque Maggio' by Alessandro Manzoni is displayed (Photo by Pier Marco Tacca/Getty Images)
The Original manuscript of the poem 'Cinque Maggio' by Alessandro Manzoni is displayed (Photo by Pier Marco Tacca/Getty Images) /

The Toronto Maple Leafs had an extremely busy summer.

Although reviews about the Toronto Maple Leafs summer activities are mixed – to say the least – the team has had a very successful and exciting training camp.

Easton Cowen is making some noise, and newcomers Tyler Bertuzzi and Max Domi look great.  It’s all adding up to another great season, one hopefully with a better result than we’ve seen recently.

The Toronto Maple Leafs season begins next week.  For no, please enjoy this poem!

The Absolute Worst Toronto Maple Leafs Poem On the Internet

With a stick in hand and blades on one’s feet,
Watching the Toronto Maple Leafs is always a treat
But their Cup-winning ways are distant, it’s clear,
1967’s still the last time fans cheered.

In the dressing room, where the aroma’s so bold,
It’s like a science experiment, or so we’ve been told.
A history of legends have been crowned in blue and white,
Tiger Williams and Tie Domi always looking for a fight.

Now, let’s not forget Phil Kessel’s hot dog spree,
He scored goals and ate wieners with endless glee.
He had us all fooled, a true master of disguise,
Hot dogs in one hand, love for Tyler Bozak in his eyes.

“Salute Gate” was a hoot, a comical stunt,
Players not saluting, instead just sharing a grunt.
It was all in good fun, no harm was meant,
Just Dion Phaneuf being salty, a mischievous event.

But wait, there are more Leafs tales to explore,
Like the time they tried to show Mats Sundin the door.
They asked him to waive, oh, what a blunder,
He should’ve been a Leaf forever and ever!

Leafs cannot escape Justin Bieber’s grip,
Some say he hangs around just to collab on new drip
He’s a pop sensation, not a hockey pro,
But the Leafs said, “Why not?” and let the Biebs go.

And what about Eric Lindros, that towering force?
He should’ve been a Leaf far sooner of course!
But his journey to Toronto came a bit late,
Still, fans cheered his arrival, it was worth the wait.

Gary Roberts, so fit, seeing him play was a treat,
Underrated and tough, he couldn’t be beat.
In the dressing room, he was a mentor, so wise,
But his fame, like his hits, stayed a bit disguised.

Now, about Tim Horton, a legend indeed,
A better defenseman than a baker, take heed.
His slap shots and coffee, quite the dual act,
In the Leafs’ lore, he’s a true artifact.

And stoppers Johnny Bower and Turk Broda in the crease,
They closed the door on opponents, and brought the peace.
With saves and shutouts, they made Toronto proud,
While goalies are always weird, their names ring loud.

But let’s not forget John Tavares, our captain so grand,
Leading the Leafs with a steady hand.
Had the C handed to him by a security guard,
Living up to Dave Keon’s legacy has certainly been hard.

Auston Matthews can rip it and find the twine
Setting records tastes just like a fine wine.
A mustache so greasy, a throwback of old
Some crumbs got stuck in there and started to mold

Matthew Knies, the future’s in his grasp,
With talent aplenty, in the Leafs’ cast.
You’re excited to see what he’ll bring to the team,
A rising star, or so it would seem!

Got to love the Leafs, with their unique history,
Full of laughter, legends, and a dash of mystery.
The darlings of Toronto, far greater than the Habs,
We all try to forget the Leafs time under Babs.

In hockey, it’s not just the Cups that we chase,
It’s the stories and moments that light up the place.
So cheer for the Leafs, with excitement and cheer,
For in the world of sports, they’re a treasure, it’s clear

Next. The Leafs Biggest Scandals. dark

Kudos to the reader, who certainly didn’t wake up this morning thinking they were going to read a poem today. The Maple Leafs make us all do funny things sometimes.