The Toronto Maple Leafs are the team everyone loves to hate.
The Toronto Maple Leafs have the best player in the NHL on their roster. His name is Auston Matthews and I know he is the best player in the world at the moment because he has a trophy that says so.
Other things are up for debate, but that one is settled.
At least until the games begin again.
But if that was the only problem, I wouldn’t bring it up.
No, sir, I would not.
But what really gets my goat, is publishing a list that says that Nazem Kadri is better than John Tavares.
He isn’t.
That is the kind of nonsense that makes people doubtful of the authority of listicles.
Is that the kind of world you want to live in?
Toronto Maple Leafs: John Tavares > Nazem Kadri, All Day, Every Day
Here is a tweet that sums up the argument:
Kadri and Tavares were drafted on the same day and are the same age. If you want to know who is better, it's the guy with 400 more career points.
— Editor in Leaf (@EditorinLeaf) October 3, 2022
That argument is so impregnable, that I could spend the rest of this article discussing what my favorite artist, author, and poet are, all the while ignoring the rest of my argument because it’s unnecessary.
I wouldn’t even need to say any other points that relate to JT or Naz.
I could say, for instance, that my all-time favorite writer is JD Salinger.
I could tell you that my favorite band is REM or that my favorite poet is the King of New Jersey, William Carlos Williams himself.
I wouldn’t need to tell you that John was coming off an injury during the one single season out of both there careers where Kadri was the better player.
But I wouldn’t need to say that, because the idea that Kadri is better than Tavares is so ridiculous it’s embarrassing to even have to contradict it.
I could change my mind. I could change from Salinger to Don DeLillo, from WCW to T.S Eliot and then I could mention that my favorite hip hop artist of all time is Slick Rick and that my all-time favorite hockey player is none other than Mats Sundin himself, and that would make me think about the time a guy who looked exactly like him lost an arm wrestling match to Evil Cooper in the 3rd season of Twin Peaks, which I think is the best all-time show.
David Lynch is my favorite director, for sure…..but does Mullholland Drive beat out Blade Runner or Back to the Future?
Those are arguments you could really seek your teeth into. The main thing is that a sane, rational person could choose either. Unlike Kadri vs Tavares, which is, really, one of the more preposterous things I’ve ever actually heard.
I could mention all these incredibly personal opinions because they would be more interesting than an argument that proves the earth is really round. Which is what I’d be doing if I took it the idea of Kadri being better at hockey than Tavares seriously enough to respond to it.
In conclusion, there are only two celebrities I’d ever be interested in meeting: Michael Stipe and David Lynch. I once thought I met John Tavares, but it was just a really poor quality mannequin that tricked me. Even that mannequin knows who is the best player, and it’s the captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs, Mr. John “JT” Tavares himself.