10 Ways to Get Your Toronto Maple Leafs Fix While There’s No Hockey

8. Call Your Friends to Yell

There are incredibly ridiculous Maple Leafs Takes on the internet. If you want to feel like you’re still in the middle of an ongoing season, pick any of the odd things that people say every day on social media and adopt that cause.

Do you still feel like William Nylander is overpaid? Now’s a great time to shout it out your window at your unsuspecting neighbour. No reason not to let them know how you really feel about Kyle Dubas.

Be warned though, you must be prepared to listen to an equally outrageous response.

It’s your neighbour’s right to inform you that Jeremy Bracco is actually more skilled than Auston Matthews. A quarantine can make people think and say some very funny things.

7. Watch A Great YouTube Channel

There’s lots of great Toronto Maple Leafs content online. With your newfound time, navigate the web to find what speaks to you. Whether it’s the Shanaclan Podcast or images of cats dressed like the Toronto Maple Leafs, the internet has you covered.

YouTube is chock-full of Leafs talk.

It may sometimes be difficult to find smaller platforms but if you look hard enough you can find some gems. Our very own Nick Barden has a YouTube channel that’s worth checking out. He’s the guy that famously made a bet with Twitter and it cost him over $200 in the form of a new Leafs jersey.

Barden can be seen yelling through your screen and thumping his garbage can with an enthusiasm usually reserved for disagreeing with James Tanner in the editorinleaf.com comment section.

6. Smash Something You Love

There is really only one way to mimic that feeling you get when watching a Toronto Maple Leafs game or following their season. In order to fully replicate it follow the following instructions.

1. Make something nice. It can be anything: a work of art, a table out of wood, a meal. It doesn’t matter what you choose to make so long as it makes you happy.
2. Hold on to the positive vibes you’ve gotten from crafting your creation. Look at it and bask in its splendor.
3. Smash your creation. You may love it but clearly it can’t love you back. It’s only true purpose was to snatch your heart and crush it.

There. Doesn’t that feel more familiar?

Being a Leafs fan hurts. No one tells people this when they sign up but once they commit they’re in for a wild ride.

5. Play Mini Sticks

Get out the mini sticks you have hidden in a box somewhere.

It’s time to smash a vase while trying to stickhandle and shoot your way to a living room victory. In case you’ve forgotten, this is the game that takes place indoors around valuables (preferably not your own) with a hard plastic stick that’s slightly larger than a foot long.

Set up a mini stick tournament with everyone in quarantine with you. It doesn’t matter if others are uninterested, that just makes them easier opponents. Give those knee hockey athletes a lower seeding and put them in the brackets.

Have everyone choose a team to represent just like you did when those mini sticks were new. Arguing about who gets to be Toronto is normal.

Go head to head and see if you’ve still got it. Remember, if nothing of value gets broken, you’re doing it wrong.

4. Get Creative with Twitter

While it isn’t a widely known practice, social media doesn’t have to be used just to argue that strangers are wrong.

Some good can come out of these platforms. Consider using your time of self-isolation to both connect with the  Toronto Maple Leafs and create something new.

To do so, you’ll need to find Leafs players on their personal social media accounts.

Once located, pull up random posts and create a fun backstory to help explain the meaning behind the player’s words. To create examples, I am using three tweets of which I don’t know the context in which they were posted.

The fun begins when trying to decide what made the player tweet. Let’s begin with a 2013 message from Auston Matthews.

Good chance Matthews was trying to share the punchline of a joke he made up. “What do angry academics like to do?”
“Yale”

I’m pretty sure that the message that Zach Hyman was spamming read something like, “How dare my trade to the Maple Leafs only be ranked the fifth-biggest of the decade.”

The spamming of course triggered his friend and teammate Mitch Marner to tweet a set of eyeball emojis.

https://twitter.com/Marner93/status/1013468288574255106

3. Throw Away $20

There’s a very easy way to feel like you’re at Scotiabank Arena. It doesn’t even take much effort to do. To make this work you’re going to need three simple ingredients.

• Beer (can or bottle)
• A glass
• $20 bill

Step 1
Remove a beer from the fridge

Step 2
Pour the beer in a glass

Step 3
Thow the $20 bill directly in the trash

Once complete, you should immediately feel like you’re downtown at the rink. Fear not kids, we’ve got a way that you can replicate that Scotiabank feeling at home too. Instead of beer, take a bottle of water. Twist off the top and then throw away five dollars. Oh, what fun!

Note: The results may vary; possibly because a bottle of water at the rink actually costs $5.75.

2. Have a Good Long Cry

No Toronto Maple Leafs season is complete without a long ugly cry.

The hockey season generally involves having to listen to Montreal Canadiens fans brag about how many cups their team has won. If you’re unfortunate enough to know a Boston Bruins fan, good chance you’ll also be subject to some obnoxious taunting.

Skip all this and go directly to the end.

Let it all out by shedding tears in a cathartic way. As snot drips from your nose, mutter “it’s not fair” to yourself over and over. Once in awhile also yell out a player’s name followed by the word, “why”. Putting those together should sound like “Andersen! Why?!?”

Hopefully, you have facial tissues at home to wipe away your tears once done. If you’re one of the people who stocked up with a lifetime supply of toilet paper, then feel free to substitute with some tp.

The only thing that’s important for this process is how you finish up. Once your eyes have dried up, you must recognize that your desire to see the Leafs hoist the cup may never be satiated but you’re ready to believe in the team because next year’s their year.

1. Read Editor In Leaf

There’s no better way to start and end your day in quarantine than reading some high-quality content from Editor In Leaf.

Count on us to get you through these dark hockeyless days. If there’s any new news about the season on hiatus, this is the place to find it.

Remember Leafs fans, we might not have hockey to watch but we do have each other. Be sure to be kind and stay at least one meter apart.