Toronto Maple Leafs superstar Auston Matthews can (and will) score 65-70 goals this season. Maybe even 140.
To some Toronto Maple Leafs fans, this is exciting. To others, well lets just say fun ideas are not something they like. If realistically pointing out how hockey fans (short for FANATIC) get too excited is your thing, fine by me. I wouldn’t wanna hang out with you, but it’s fine.
Yes nothing like ‘penciling’ yourself in for some hardcore realism regarding the millionaire celebrities whose every move you chronicle, am I right? But do those guys even stop to think about it before they push their glasses up their nose and say ‘actually while 56 goals is within the realm of possibility, this is what is making Leafs fans look bad’ ??
To make one thing clear, the kind of people who care about sports and look down on people who also care about sports in a different way than they do, are so absurd that I hope I look bad to them. Just like I don’t care what people who think the earth is flat believe on any subject, I reject any and all judgement from people who take sports seriously enough to care how they look in relation to their fellow fans. You are a grown man wearing the name of another grown man on your back, so you should probably refrain from casting stones.
If you don’t like fans who, when they get their bi-annual tickets to a game, go absolutely nuts and make the game horrible for all the stuffed shirt, suit-wearing nerds in attendance, we probably aren’t going to get along. Yes I am going to scream in your ear for three straight periods. No I cannot guarantee that I will be wearing a shirt the entire time.
The Shining > War in Peace
My personal philosophy is that my life has enough realism. I got kids a mortgage a wife bills and the existential dread of a world where we give nuclear weapons to unqualified game-show hosts. Playa, I don’t even have time for commas.
When I sit down to watch a movie, do I want gritty realism and high art?
No ___ way!!!
I want to watch Bruce Willis kick some ass. I want to see a guy drive a transport truck off the top of a building, jump out of the cab, in mid air, into a helicopter, throw the gunman out the window (never been in a helicopter so I don’t know what they call the opening where Bruce Willis jumps in) and then knock out the pilot and land the damned thing himself.
Cause here’s the thing: Auston Matthews really can score 65 goals. Maybe even a 102. I’m not a doctor, but I do think that anything is possible.
Matthews scored more goals per 60 minutes of ice time last season as Ovechkin did in the year he scored 65. It stands to reason that if he does that again, and if he gets more power-play time that he could hit the magic number.
But Jim, Ovechkin is the best goal scorer of all-time. Maybe he was and now it’s Auston Matthews. Is that realistic? I don’t care if it is. My life is more fun if I think so, and that’s all I really care about. I’ve watched Matthews play and I believe 1400% (that was a typo, but I really believe it, so I’m-a let it stand) that he can score a goal per game. Not even Ovechkin in his prime can dominate 5v5 like Matthews.
Next: The Logic Behind Matthews Upcoming 65 Goal Season
Who told you the Leafs would get Tavares? And who got called an unrealistic jerk who makes Leafs fans look bad for saying so? Who told you that the Leafs were the best team in the NHL last year and would win the Stanley Cup…….OK that didn’t work out so hot…
Realistic sports articles are a dime a dozen. Writing them and then getting on your high horse is even worse. Let’s try to have some fun.