If you see a good Mitch Marner Trade Proposal on Twitter, make sure you tag Santa Clause so he can see the Tweet.
Then, take that baby to the end of the flat earth, look to your astrological sign, put on your favorite Wings album (with the fake Paul McCartney), and discuss it with your imaginary friend.
While it is a common myth that we only use 10% of our brains, the Mitch Marner Trade Speculation is starting to make me think that it might be true.
Let me tell you the only thing I know for a fact to be true: There is no good Mitch Marner Trade.
And if we didn't already know that, we learned it yesterday when the Nashville Predators traded Ryan McDonugh back to Tampa and cleared themselves a whole bunch of cap space.
Marner to Nashville was already a popular idea, but that doesn't mean it's a good one. Nashville's trade prompted 100, 000 immediate Marner Trade Proposals, each worse for the Leafs than the last.
Mitch Marner Trade Proposals Show the Danger of Emotional Thinking
Leafs fans are mad as hell and they aren't going to take it anymore.
Sure, they're still going to sell out the building every night, and they are going to spend all summer talking hockey, but still, they are pretty irate.
So mad, in fact, that they aren't thinking clearly.
And that is understandable. Being a Leafs fan is hard work. Not really. I mean, we're grown adults who care about sports. The fact that we care at all is a massive symbol of our prosperity and happiness, but I digress.
The sports bros have had it and their solution is to throw the baby out with the bathwater. (Or was it to put their pants on one leg at a time? In sports, the clichés come fast and furious).
Mitch Marner has scored at a 100 point pace for four straight seasons while also being one of the NHL's premier penalty killers and elite defensive forwards.
He is only 26 and stands to be among the best hockey players in the entire world for the next decade. Every single team in the NHL is looking for a player like this to build their team around at all times. He is a franchise player and one of the five best players in the history of the Toronto Maple Leafs.
But the fans are just so steaming mad right now you guys. There is nothing to do but give him away for pennies on the dollar and spend that money re-signing Max Domi (a noted replacement player with a famous name for most of his career).
This shows the dangers of emotional thinking. The ideas are so bad it's laughable. The next good Mitch Marner trade proposal will be the first one.
I even came up with a couple myself, but they were silly too. The fact is, you cannot trade Mitch Marner and get better. It is actually impossible. Trading him is a bad idea.
Making life altering decisions while in an emotional state is never a good idea. That is something we learn in kindergarten. Keep it in mind the next time someone mentions trading your favorite team's best player. Marner is an elite player in his prime. You don't trade those.
The Toronto Maple Leafs should re-sign Mitch Marner immediately. Anything else is a joke.