Toronto Maple Leafs Building a Band: The Melodic Slapshots

The Toronto Maple Leafs have some hidden talents. If they weren’t busy throwing body checks for a living, they’d be musicians, harmonizing in perfect pitch.

Music and hockey have more in common than meets the eye. Both evoke emotions, stir passions, and captivate audiences worldwide. The Toronto Maple Leafs draw fans to watch them perform, much like musicians do when they share their art.

If the Maple Leafs weren’t playing hockey, but instead were performing in bars, halls, and auditoriums, each would be playing a different genre of music. If they were playing together, they’d be a band named “Melodic Slapshots”.

Apart, they would each be a master of their own genre. This is what type of music they’d each play:

Auston Matthews – Smooth Jazz

With his mustache and fashion sense, it’s surprising that Auston Matthews isn’t a smooth jazz maestro, or at the very least, a beat poet.

Matthews creates jazz on the ice already. His ability to improvise and turn opponents’ errors into Maple Leafs goals is as sweet a music anyone will ever hear. If he were a musician, he’d be playing a standing bass at very exclusive events.

Marc Giordano – Sea Shanties

When the Seattle Kraken had their expansion draft, they decided the best choice to be the face of the organization in their inaugural season would be a true sea captain. It’s why they took the player in the NHL who appeared most like a sailor, Marc Giordano.

All Giordano is missing is a rain hat and jacket. Then he’ll be ready to stand next to the docks and sing with a group seafares while singing a few shanties about the hardships of leaving a spouse behind to go catch lobster.

Mitch Marner – Pop Music

If Mitch Marner were a musician, he would be making pop music that reached the charts and left its listeners humming and dancing along. To be clear, Marner wouldn’t be a solo act like his friend Justin Bieber. He would be part of a boy band. He would also carry a persona like, “the silly one”.

Tyler Bertuzzi – Grunge

Lucky for Tyler Bertuzzi, you don’t need all your teeth to be a drummer in a grunge rock band. In fact, it may be an asset. Grunge would be the winger’s most likely entry into the music world. Playing festivals in his hometown of Sudbury, Ontario, Bertuzzi would surely have an over the top drum set with the name of his band, “Science Isn’t Real,” on the front of his bass drum.

William Nylander – Death Metal

There’s something mysterious about William Nylander. He would make the perfect candidate for the lead singer of a Death Metal act. His hair alone gives him the right look, one of a brooding artist. Just like on-ice, Nylander’s unique style would make him a draw and an interesting act.

Joseph Woll – The Blues

Joseph Woll would trade in his goalie stick and pads for a six string. While his position in the game doesn’t allow for much flair, that wouldn’t be true of Woll playing the blues. He would play mesmerizing guitar solos and reinvigorate classic tunes with soulful depth.

While the Toronto Maple Leafs continue to choose hockey over music, hopefully this season they’re able to harmonize and perform their way to a Stanley Cup.