The Toronto Maple Leafs have spent a lot of time in Florida recently. First, they took down the Tampa Bay Lightning. Now they’re fighting to keep their Stanley Cup dreams alive against the Florida Panthers.
Oh, Florida. The land of sunshine, beaches, and theme parks. Sounds like paradise, doesn’t it? Well, not exactly. While some believe the state is beautiful, the poor Maple Leafs have been stuck agonizing over when they can finally get out of Florida.
Sure, Mitch Marner and Auston Matthews may get a tan at the beach. It may seem relaxing but could they really let their guard down with the sun trying to bake them into looking like dried-up hot peppers?
There’s also nothing enjoyable about trying to get sand out of those hard-to-reach places. Marner and Matthews shouldn’t even bother trying to eat the sandwiches they packed for lunch; that is unless they enjoy being attacked by seagulls. It’s like trying to have a peaceful picnic in the middle of a Hitchcock movie.
The Toronto Maple Leafs need to get out of Florida to end their agony
Some may argue that the theme parks in Florida make it worth the visit. Those folks don’t realize that nothing beats Canada’s Wonderland in Vaughan, Ontario. If it’s the happiest place on earth you’re after trying to chase that Disney dream, it’s still over a three-hour drive and 225 miles (362 km) away from the Panthers home of FLA Live Arena.
And as much as William Nylander may want to ride Space Mountain, he’s not going to enjoy the hours in line spent in the scorching sun, only to get on a ride that lasts for thirty seconds. It’s enough to make him question whether Mickey Mouse has always been evil.
Let’s not forget about the wildlife. Yes, Ilya Samsonov may find it amazing to see dolphins, manatees, and alligators in their natural habitat. However, all he needs to do is accidentally step on a fire ant hill to remind him how unforgiving Florida really is. It’s like getting stung by a hundred tiny bees all at once.
The bugs can’t be ignored. Florida’s warm and humid climate is a breeding ground for all sorts of them. From mosquitos to lovebugs, the creepy crawlers are enough to make even Luke Schenn’s skin crawl and keep him scratching for a week.
The best animal in Florida is the snowbird. During the winter months, Florida is invaded by a flock of them, retirees from up north who come down to escape the cold. Sure, they can clog up the roads and pack restaurants, but many of the snowbirds also bring their Canadian charm. That’s a win for Florida.
On the surface, Florida may seem like paradise. Even the best parts have their downsides. Hopefully, the Leafs have packed plenty of sunscreen and bug spray in their hockey bags. For them, the best part of the state will actually be leaving it.