The Toronto Maple Leafs Failure Only Makes Me Love Them More

The Toronto Maple Leafs are the worst sports franchise that you could possible cheer for.

Not only do the Toronto Maple Leafs never win, but they are owned by two corporations  that I am forced to deal with in my life constantly, and I do not care for either of them. To put it politely.  Only because my love for the blue and white  predates their ownership do I continue to cheer for them, because that would otherwise be a deal breaker for me.

Frankly,  I’m impressed with the Leafs ownership lately, which is a weird and complicated thing to think about a company who gives you unlimited data then offers you more data for compensation whenever things go wrong. (If anyone from the company who shall not be named is reading this, your policy that doesn’t allow call centre employees to give out credits somehow made you even worse).

The reason the Leafs are the worst professional sports franchise is because they always lose, often in way in which it did not seem possible for them to lose.  For years, they operated like the prototype for what we know think of as Old Hockey Men, and for years their incompetency was legendary.

I could (and have) run down every joke occurrence that has happened to the Leafs – from not appearing in  a Cup Final since the league expanded beyond six teams, to having the opportunity to get Joe Sakic, Wayne Gretzky, Scott Niedermeyer, Robert Luango and Eric Lindros  and blowing it every time.

From 1968 to they day they put Dave Nonis out of his misery, the Toronto Maple Leafs had exactly one general manager, Pat Quinn, who was hired by the team and left with his reputation intact.

When the Leafs finally start to run their team properly  – when they stop hiring ex-players to be their GM, when they stop following the Old Hockey Man Dogma, build the best roster they’ve ever had, set virtually all team records, and have the best team in the NHL  – they still lose.

To Columbus, in a five game series, after a six month layoff, in the weirdest conditions possible. The Blue Jackets and their two no-name goalies set an NHL record for save percentage in a series against the NHL’s best offense. 

To Montreal, without John Tavares, Nick Foligno, Jake Muzzin (mostly) or Zach Hyman  healthy, and without Auston Matthews being able to shoot the puck, they blow a 3-1, once again face absurd goaltending, and become the only team in the history of the NHL to come back in the playoffs from two straight two goal leads and lose both times.

To Tampa where they won three times and then had the referees cost them two games with what only a childlike naivety keeps believing was unintentional.  (Also that, and if the league was going to actually be biased, it likely would be for their richest and most successful team, not against it).

That’s why I love the Toronto Maple Leafs.  They always lose, but they never quit.  They do not care. They just get off the floor and come back for more. They are a joke, but they are an endearing one.  And when they win, it will be all the sweeter for all the disappointments.

There is no reason to be loyal to a sports team in the age of corporate ownership and free-agency.  But I believe in the die-hard romanticism of loyalty, and nothing is more respectable to me that constant failure followed by even more effort.

I loved this team as a kid because I was more or less born into it. I love them now because they are like the pro sports equivalent of Mac’s dog Poppins.   The worse they are, the more they are loved.

I hope they lose again next year in an even more ridiculous way, just because it will be funny.  And I also hope they  win. The Toronto Maple Leafs fan wins either way.  Ironically, when you cheer for a loser, and you know you cheer for a loser, you can’t lose.