Who Cares If Toronto Maple Leafs Patrick Kane Rumour Is Realistic?

The Toronto Maple Leafs are probably not going to get Patrick Kane. 

I know this, and you know this.  The Toronto Maple Leafs don’t need to rearrange their entire roster to trade for a player who is 33 and who is one of the league’s worst defensive players.

The kind of assets required to take on Patrick Kane could be used to help the team where they need more help.  The cost is prohibitive.  They don’t have the cap space.

Whatever.

Who Cares?

If Patick Kane is even a slight possibility, I am going to hope it happens. I am going to watch Patrick Kane do amazing things on youtube, and I am going to fantasize about what he’d look like feeding pucks to Auston Matthews.

Defense? Defense is for losers.

Realism? Give me Kurt Vonnegut over James Joyce, anyday.

Realism is loser talk.   I want Patrick Kane on the Leafs  and until he is traded to a different team or retires, I will hope that it happens.

Toronto Maple Leafs Owe Their Fans Patrick Kane

This roster is awesome.  I will argue with anyone, anytime, that it is the best in the NHL, and the best Leafs roster ever.  I will never stop believing that luck is a massive factor in a playoff series, and I know for a fact, and I don’t anyone else to acknowledge it, but they just got screwed by bad luck and could easily already be defending three time champs.

But let’s be realistic: a loss is a loss and most people don’t care about what should have or could have happened.

Nor should they.  The Leafs have a realistic chance of winning the Stanley Cup with their current roster, but they likely won’t, because you need to defy the odds to do so, and just because you got unlucky last year, and the year before, doesn’t mean you are “due.”

If you flip a coin and it lands on tails five times in a row, there is a mathematically even chance it will land tails again. The coin has no memory.

So, this roster might win, but it likely won’t.  You could have the objectively best team ever, and it wouldn’t make winning the Stanley Cup likely.

So, it’s time to throw the fans a bone.  They owe us one player to get excited about per off-season, and this year I’m saying to make it  a 33 year old hall-of-famer who is the best passer in the league.

Hey kids, you stuck with us, and in return, we have hired Patrick Kane to make the following season kick $$$ regardless of results.

Chicago takes Muzzin and flips to a third team in a complicated trade too weird to even fully explain.  This third retains another 50% of Kane’s salary and the Leafs get him double-retained.

They move out Holl and Kerfoot somehow, and throw several  firsts – not lottery protected – to the Hawks, along with whatever prospects they want, and you have yourself a nice little Patty Kane to put with your Matthews.

Now your second line is Bunting-Tavares-Nylander, and Auston Matthews scores a league record 97 goals, and we’re all having so much fun we don’t even care about the Playoffs or the Stanley Cup, and who knows, we might even win it!