Reviewing the Toronto Maple Leafs Trade Deadline Performance

CAROLINA HURRICANES

IN: Domi, Inamoto, Toronto’s face (Andersen 2.06, .928)

OUT: Hreschuk, Korshkov, no picks after 2022 (every single pick is in tact, and wow, what a roster)

There once was a goalie named Fred

Some days he would stand on his head

A gift from the heavens

But wait, on game sevens

He inherently ****’s the bed

Pop quiz: 1st round, Leafs/Canes, game 7- Who gets the win, Andersen or Campbell?

If you answered Reimer, correct.

FINAL SCORE:

On a scale of 1st year Hurricane last year Leaf Trevor Kidd to 1st year Hurricane last year Leaf Bates Battaglia, the Carolina Hurricanes score: 1st year Hurricane, last year Leaf Jeff O’Neill 

TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS

IN: Giordano, Blackwell, intense bouts of pessimism, trepidation and skepticism

OUT: 2nd, 2nd, 3rd, in the 1st round (amirite????!)

So the Toronto Maple Leafs added Giordano, 38 years old, and Colin Blackwell, who is about to turn 29. 38+29=67, which is none other than Robert Svehla’s former number. Not only that, 67 was the last year the Leafs won the Cup and if you recall, George Armstrong, number 10, was the captain of that Cup-winning team. So 67+10=77, Paul Coffey’s famous number.

However, Coffey wore 7 in Edmonton, so 77-7=70. 70 is the jersey number of U of T G Alex Bishop, who filled in for Mrazek when the latter tore his groin earlier this year. Thus I can say without a doubt that the Leafs won the trade deadline and will ride Bishop to a Cup win this year. It’s almost too bang on not to believe.

FINAL SCORE:

If Jeff Farkas = D, Luca Caputi = F and Nik Antropov = B-, then the Toronto Maple Leafs score: Christian Hanson, 1/2 Mike Craig and 1/4 Bill Derlago.

For an actual recap of the trade deadline and a break from all of this nonsense, check out this analysis.