Toronto Maple Leafs and the 1st Month of the NHL In Review

October has come and gone so we can officially mark month one of the 2021-2022 NHL season off and in the books for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

In typical Toronto Maple Leafs fashion, they dominated the possession and expected goals categories but, in the only category that really matters, the win column, the Leafs fell slightly short of those lofty expectations and finished the month at 4-4-1.

On the bright side, despite limited production from Auston Matthews and Mitch Marner, the Leafs still managed to play .500 hockey and looked fully dominant for the first time this year in their last appearance, a 5-4 win over the Red Wings that featured some intriguing lineup changes:

• Holl scratched and Brodie paired with Muzzin, immediately revitalizing the latter
• Sandin and Liljegren both in the lineup and paired together. They displayed a good mixture of skill, mobility and puck-moving ability
• Marner back with Tavares with Kerfoot on the other wing. They were flying all night and it was arguably Marner’s best showing this year and easily Tavares’ best
• Bunting staying on the top-line and Ritchie moved to the 4th which, like most of these other changes, acted to showcase more of the  Toronto Maple Leafs speed and quickness; an element that feels like it has been lacking for awhile

On the other hand, the powerplay is still abysmal and the Leafs still almost managed to cough up the lead despite handily outplaying their opponent for most of the match. This is the Toronto Maple Leafs we are talking about, after all. Anything good or bad (but mostly bad) is possible.

Looking Beyond the Toronto Maple Leafs

As for the rest of the NHL well there was so much going on that instead of writing a general recap I have elected to write a short breakdown for each of the 32 teams over multiple pages featuring quips, puns or wordplay and general info that I hope at least some of you will find amusing.

Here is the October monthly re-quip for all 32 NHL teams:

32. Arizona: 0-8-1 (1 point)

Cleaned house, including all goaltenders from last year, and sit last or 2nd-last in PP, PK, GF and GA (all stat rankings from yahoo.ca) but goaltending has still been good. So who’s manning the pipes, you ask? Yep, you guessed it, household name Karel Vejmelka (2.63 GAA .920 SV%). This desert is in dire need of some manna.

Random Note: D Jakob Chychrun 2020-2021: 18 goals and 41 points in 56 games. This year: 0 points and a team-worst -15. Coyote ugly.

31. Chicago: 0-7-2 (2 points)

Struggling to both score (28th GF) and keep the puck out of the net (31st GA). Marc-Andre Fleury has been awful (4.63 GAA .872 SV, all player stats from hockey-reference). Seth Jones (only seven months younger than Morgan Rielly) @ $9.5M for the next eight years with a full NMC for the entire length of the contract makes Rielly’s even keel deal look like a steal. Feel?

Random Note: Chicago  is the worst.

30. Montreal: 2-8-0 (4 points)

Bottom-five in every major statistical category except for GF, where they sit 26th, this Canadiens season has been Price-less.

Random Note: I guess playoff Price + trap hockey + playoff officiating really does = undeserved Cup berths. Jacques Lemaire to Toronto???

29. Ottawa: 3-4 (6 points)

Not to go out on a Lalime here but if Murray reverts to the form of last season, that hard-working, young talent won’t be able to overcome the goaltending woes, even with their (Sidorkie)-wits about them.

Random Note: Sorry for bringing up those maligned Ottawa netminders. What an awful m-Emery for Sens fans

28. Los Angeles: 3-5-1 (7 points)

Pretty good top-six (Kopitar, Brown, Iafallo, Arvidsson, Danault, Kempe) + young talent in Vilardi, Byfield and Grundstrom on the cusp but they are in need of a Quick change.

Random Note: Appreciation for Anze Kopitar (1,137GP, 1,011P, 352G, 52.9FO%, 56.5CF%, 2 Cups, PPG in each entire Cup playoff run). He’s a Kopi-STAR!

23. Colorado: 4-4 (8 points)

A bottom-ten GA  and 28th PP is hurting them but a 1st, 3rd, and decent D prospect for 31-year-old Darcy Keumper, who’s an impeding UFA and only a $1.4M saving on departing UFA Grubauer? Is JFJ in their front office??

Random Note: He may have his issues every now and again but boy do I regret that Nazem Kadri trade. Barrie bold yet boneheaded blockbuster

22. Nashville: 4-4 (8 points)

Middle of the pack in most stats and quite possibly the most boring franchise since the Alvin and the Chipmunk films. Rather listen to Dave play his cartoon piano.

Random Note: Appreciation for Roman Josi (688GP, 120G, 455P, +61 and 10G, 40P in 80 playoff games). Hopefully a lifelong Predator (there’s got to be a better way to say that)

21. Pittsburgh: 3-3-2 (8 points)

Sure, score seven on us without Crosby, Malkin or Letang, get smoked by TB and shut-out by Calgary and then lose to NJ in Crosby’s debut. That’s just what we Toronto Maple Leafs fans expect, so try harder next time Pens.

Random Note: 7-1 and no Malkin, Crosby or Letang!!!!! How does this happen?? (I really need to let this go….)

20. Boston: 4-3 (8 points)

Linus signing has hit the Ull-mark (.927 SV %) so far but that centre-depth is hurting worse than Nick Foligno’s upper body. Bergeron with 0 goals and 3 points in 7 games? We don’t appreciate you mocking Mitch Marner’s playoff proficiency, Patrice.

Random Note: I’d say the Bruins might finally be up the creek without a paddle but the only thing that would Trump that idiom would be having an Orr involved

19. NY Islanders: 3-2-2 (8 points)

Sorokin looks like the real deal between the pipes but this Islanders team, sitting 27th in GF, is struggling offensively and could really use some Palmieri scoring (0 in 7).

Random Note: Movember is upon us, or, as Lou Lamoriello calls it, “the worst 30 days of my life”.

18. Anaheim: 3-4-3 (9 points)

What’s up with John Gibson? Ducks are 3rd in GF but 29th in GA. Gibson’s numbers have plummeted the last 3 years; a change of scenery would help but what team can you float that fits the bill for the deflated Duck?

Random Note: ANH leading scorer is defenseman Troy Terry (9 points in 8 games), an absolutely real name and person.

17. New Jersey: 4-2-1 (9 points)

Andreas Johnsson (4G, 6P) is the leading scorer, Jonathan Bernier, making over $4M, is the starter with a .923 SV% and Jimmy Vesey and Frederik Gauthier have starting roles on the roster. In other news, up is officially down, airport travel rocks and the Toronto Maple Leafs are winning it all this year!

Random Note: What happened to P.K Subban? 12G, 40P in 119GP for NJ with a $9M cap hit. Worst value since Village.

16. Toronto Maple Leafs: 4-4-1 (9 points)

…7-1 loss against a Pittsburgh team that had no Crosby, no Malkin and no Letang in the lineup. Leafs were 36% in the faceoff circle, mustered only 3 shots in the 3rd period, and let the “tantalizing” defense pair of Pettersson-Friedman walk all over them (combined 4 points, plus 10). Undrafted Drew O’Connor had 2 goals (all stats from hockey-reference).

Random Note: Wayne Simmonds has averaged 12-minutes less per-game than Mitch Marner, makes over $10M less and has the same offensive stat-line this year. Hey, don’t shoot (also Marner’s motto in the slot) the messenger

15. Tampa Bay: 4-3-1 (9 points)

GA have been an problem (23rd) and they lost some depth this offseason but Tampa should be able to keep these issues at Bay, even if they have to Palat all the stops at some Point.

Random Note: I predict that Kucherov’s injury is going to be long term, TB is going to add a ton of salary in the meantime, and, when the cap isn’t an issue in the postseason, all of these players are going to be ready and eligible. Heh, like that’s possible

14. Philadelphia: 4-2-1 (9 points)

Philadelphia took some Flyers on vets (Brassard, Yandle, Atkinson) who have all impressed this year. Love Ryan Ellis but he’s battled injuries the last few years and has missed four-straight games. Healthy, that’s a nice D! (Got to be a better way to say that)

Random Note: Appreciation for Sean Couturier (699GP, 177G, 452P, 52FO%, 52.3CF%). And those stats are tempered by modest production from ages 19-24; he’s a flat-out (Philly) stud

13. Detroit: 4-3-2 (10 points)

5th in GF with Vrana on the IR and without Bertuzzi full-time is very impressive but I see an impending goalie Greiss-is. If Nedeljkovic steps up, there’ll be another tough Atlantic club Larkin around.

Random Note: Lucas Raymond joins Troy Terry as another player with two first names who leads their team in scoring (it’s been a slow week, what can I say)

12. Columbus: 5-3 (10 points)

Wise men say Elvis Merzlikins’ gaudy numbers (1.98 GAA, .939 SV%) have swayed doubtful fans of Blue Jackets (and shoes).   No more suspicious minds.

Random Note: Elvis has not yet left the building. 

11. Minnesota: 5-3 (10 points)

I wasn’t into the Wild last year but they surprised me by making the playoffs and taking Vegas to 7 games. I guess I shouldn’t have cast a-Spurgeons on them. That team is all (Ryan) heart, man.

Random Note: Turns out the former Minnesota North Stars and current Stars were the proper suitor for Minnesota’s Suter. Huh, what do you Mo-da-know?

10. San Jose: 5-3 (10 points)

They’ve faced their share of Hertl’s the last few years amidst some Couture changes but looks like the Timo is now. Meier has 5G and 11P and may be primed for a big rebound year. I don’t expect Reimer to continue at a .964 SV% pace; however, so don’t Labanc on the Sharks contending just yet.

Random Note: So centre Jasper Weatherby, a 4TH rounder from the 2018 draft, is actually a real person and not a recurring character from the show “Bridgerton”?

9. Winnipeg: 4-2-2 (10 points)

After falling a-sweep at the wheel against the Habs last postseason, the Jets Scheifele-d up their blueline by acquiring Schmidt and Dillon. The team is still stacked with offensive talent and are 8th in GF even with absences from Little (0GP), Wheeler (3GP) and Scheifele (2GP).

Random Note: Appreciation for Kyle Connor (313GP, 138G, 265P, 55CF%). Locked in at just a shade over $7M for next four years and doesn’t turn 25 until December. Love to see another Connor-McDavid showdown this postseason.

8. NY Rangers: 6-2-1 (11 points)

The Rangers have amassed a lot of good, young talent but so far it’s Igor Shesterkin that’s workin. With a 1.70 GAA and .947 SV% Igor has been eager to beleaguer big leaguers. Seems the Rags have learned the Lafreni-errs of their old ways.

Random Note: Shesterkin was selected in the 4th round of the 2014 draft, 15 spots after Toronto took John “waste of a” Piccinich at 103.

7. Buffalo: 5-2-1 (11 points)

Enjoy it while it lasts, Buffalo fan (there might be a second fan somewhere but I didn’t want to assume);  40-year-old Anderson and career scrub Dustin Tokarski aren’t going to both have a sub-2.00 GAA and high-.930’s SV% for too long. Remember, Eichel-ed it!

Random Note: 29-year-old Jeff Skinner, he of 22-goals in his last 120 games with Buffalo, has five years @ $9M per with NMC left after this year. Skinner-marinka, dinky, DON’T!

6. Edmonton: 6-1 (12 points)

The Oilers are top-ten in every main team stat because of: 1. McDavid, 2. Draisaitl and 3. It’s the regular season. Hyman shooting at nearly 40% is as likely as Koskinen’s .934 SV%; unlike a Marvel movie this team is only a two-man show with no post-credits action.

Random Note: 38-year-old Duncan Keith has 1 assist in 7 games, a CF% of 40.5 and another year @ $5.5M after this one. Worst deal since the remake of “Let’s make a”

5. St. Louis: 6-1 (12 points)

2nd in GA, PP and PK and 5th in GF, the Blues are hotter than Jordan Binnington’s temper (way to razz him, Nazem). Hard not to fawn over Perron who, in STL, is always “on.”  But four of their six wins have been against LA, CHI and ARI, so that record may be a bit of a fa-Saad.

Random Note: Appreciation for forward quality. C: Schenn, O’Reilly, Bozak, Thomas (2017 1st-rounder), Sundqvist. LW: Kyrou, Saad, Neal, Barbashev, Kostin (2017 1st-rounder), Neighbours (2020 1st-rounder). RW: Perron, Tarasenko, Buchnevich, Clifford.  

4. Calgary: 6-1-1 (13 points)

The Flames returned home with a win after 5 consecutive wins away from the Saddledome: what a jolly good-reau-d trip (it works). Calgary is top-5 in GF, GA and PP but Markstrom’s numbers (1.33 GAA, .957 SV%) are flying under the Vladar.

Random Note: Who has the most annoying face? Flames’ Matthew Tkachuck; Sens’ Brady Tkachuck or Bruins’ Brad Marchand? Answer: By a broken chair-leg, the winner is former Jet/Blue/Coyote Keith Tkachuck

3. Washington: 5-0-3 (13 points)

With 9 goals in just 8 games to start the season, Ovechkin is tearing (Kuz) nets off. And at 36 he is no Sprong chicken. Still, his skill-set as compared to most players is Oshie-ns apart (ok that was more of a stretch but I don’t care if you groan Orlov).

Random Note: So that’s three consecutive first-round playoff loses for Washington after bowing out last year to the Bruins in 5 games. And before the Cup win in 2017-2018 they had three consecutive second-round losses. Just goes to show that it only takes one lucky postseason year. So COME ON already Toronto, what are you losers waiting for??!

2. Carolina: 8-0 (16 points)

Now normally I’m anti-rant-a but Freddie Andersen is making me Teravainen my forehead. A 1.29 GAA and a .956 SV%? Really Andersen, are you trying to hurt us? Couldn’t save one of those performances for a Bruins game 7? And when did you suddenly become stellar in October? You had an .895 SV% all of last year! This is (Jesper) Fast becoming my least favourite storyline this year.

Random Note: Carolina looks like a Cup-winning squad but I wonder if Andersen and Raanta are durable enough; both could be walking on Hurri-canes by the time the playoffs roll around. Hopefully they Cam ward off the injury bug

1. Florida: 8-0-1 (17 points)

The resurgence of Bobrovsky (1.81 GAA, .944 SV%) is a sight to see, I do Duclair. He was really Ek-bad after signing for huge (Huber)-dough and I thought it was good-Knight Sergei. These guys are also 1st in GF so the team is playing about as Gudas possible.

Random Note: Joe Thornton has scored as many goals in 6 games with the Panthers as  Toronto Maple Leafs superstars Auston Matthews and Mitch Marner each have scored. I wish that was made up.