Booking an All-Toronto Maple Leafs Celebrity Boxing Card

A detailed view of the boxing gloves ringside (Photo by Jan Kruger/Getty Images)
A detailed view of the boxing gloves ringside (Photo by Jan Kruger/Getty Images) /
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Toronto Maple Leafs
Who would win their matches in an all-Toronto Maple Leafs card? (Photo by Al Bello/Getty Images) /

The Toronto Maple Leafs have had a lot of fighters in their history. What would happen if some of them and others in the organization’s history squared off?

Celebrity boxing has become very popular recently. YouTubers, Logan and Jake Paul, helped propel it to the stratosphere. This new genre of combat sports has seen odd matchups that have piqued curiosity, such as the fight between former NBA player Lamar Odom and singer Aaron Carter. If the Toronto Maple Leafs were interested in putting together their own card, it would draw incredible interest.

Back when you were a child, you probably argued with friends about who would win hypothetical fights. Someone would ponder, “would Spider-Man beat The Incredible Hulk?” The next 20 minutes would be lost trying to book fictitious characters in hand-to-hand combat. The chances of an all Maple Leafs boxing event are about as slim as Nikita Kucherov putting a shirt on at any point this summer. However, we can still have fun going back to that old game of “who would win in a fight” but instead of pitting superheroes against each other, we will pick Maple Leafs members for friendly competition.

Since the Leafs aren’t going to do it, we will create our own hypothetical all-Leafs boxing card. The rules are simple. To be involved, someone just has to have worked with the organization in some capacity. All competition is friendly and precautions would be taken to ensure no one would be hurt.

Preliminary Matchup

Carlton The Bear vs David Ayers

Carlton The Bear is often seen entertaining the crowd at Leafs games and making children laugh. David Ayres turned the Leafs into a laughing stock.

Carlton is the anthropomorphic polar bear mascot of the Buds. He represents the fun that can be had watching Toronto Maple Leafs hockey. Ayres, through no fault of his own, became a symbol of Leafs failure. At 42-years-old, the Toronto Marlies’ Zamboni driver was inserted on an emergency basis for the Carolina Hurricanes to face the Leafs in a game on February 22, 2020.

This boxing match wouldn’t be close at all. Carlton has a height, weight, and reach advantage. Even though he’s a friendly bear, the bout would prove that there was still animosity over Ayres embarrassing his own organization. Carlton would win this one easily, mauling the backup to the backup goalie. The referee would have to step in early to pull Carlton off of the ice resurfacer.