3. A Blank Jersey
Ah, nothing declares an individual’s love of a player like a completely blank, nameless jersey-back. I mean, why even wear this? What’s the point? Couldn’t you just wear your team’s t-shirt or basic logo or something?
This is like someone who lowers their 1998 Honda Civic and doles it out in 20” tires, a huge exhaust and an obnoxious muffler with black-out tinting. That’s barely a 1.5-litre engine, man. You have about 100 HP in that thing. At least get a V6. Heck, even an Si. Blank jersey, come on. And don’t tell me that money is an excuse. The 60$ spent on tepid Coors lights during the game more than pays for a quick stitch.
2. Own Name
I simply cannot imagine how someone could foster enough courage and confidence to walk around in public with their own name on the back of their jersey.
There is no WAY that that person isn’t insufferable. He’s the guy who started sporting a Tampa Bay Lightning cap in 2018 yet is born and raised in Windsor. He’s the guy in the Nordiques jersey, #69, with McGloskey written across the back. “Hey, McGloskey, put on an Yzerman or a Gilmour jersey. I’d even settle for a Yashin. But your own name from a city you have absolutely no connection to? Come on, McGloskey!”
This one was very close to being #1 but, alas, I fear that nothing is as ridiculous as: