Top 5 Worst Jerseys Worn by Toronto Maple Leafs Fans

HONOURABLE MENTION

Just Passing through

Okay, so your team acquired a big star or former star and you’re all excited. But unless that star is signed for multiple seasons it’s probably best to sit this jersey-purchase out.  One of the worst jerseys is the one you get of a player who only plays a few games for your team.  Summer comes, he signs somewhere else, and you’re left with a $200 mistake.

I know we were all excited when the Toronto Maple Leafs got Brian Leetch for only two first round picks and two prospects (Can you imagine what John Ferguson Jr. would have given up for Nick Foligno???) but Leetch played only a stretch-run and two playoff series for the Leafs and actually ended up playing in more than twice as many total games for the Bruins the following year.

The same thing goes for Owen Nolan and his 79 total games in Toronto (all stats from hockey-reference).

There is absolutely no reason to pass over the likes of Sittler, Keon, Gilmour, Salming, Mahovlich, Armstrong, Bower, Sundin or Clark, to simply name a few greats, in favour of an Eric Lindros jersey. He registered 22 points and was a -3 in 33 games for Toronto. Lin-Gross.

*Oh, and for those of you who happen to be (shudder) Vancouver Canucks fans, don’t you DARE parade around in a Mats Sundin jersey! That image is just wrong on so many levels.

5. Not-So-Good Players

Getting the jersey of a bad player is always a bad call.

Unless it’s being worn ironically, having a not so good athlete’s name on your back is inexcusable. Every team has or has had somebody not entirely useless on their roster, so there’s no excuse. *disclaimer– I was at the Toronto Airport in 2018 and, after perusing a sport shop’s Blue Jays jersey section, found my potential purchasing options limited to a) Kevin Pillar, b) Aaron Sanchez and c) Robert Osuna, so the preceding sentence isn’t exactly 100% infallible*

Nevertheless, if your choice somehow happens to be down to Jeff Farkas, Luca Caputi and Jonas Frogren, maybe it’s best to re-think the whole jersey-buying thing.

If you think about it, there must be thousands of these jerseys out there, just for one player alone. Who amongst us doesn’t at least know one person who, when the Leafs went big in free agency several years ago, picked up a David Clarkson jersey before he’d ever played a game in T.O.

Looking the for the next Wendel Clark, the Leafs accidently signed someone to help the owners of Andrew Raycroft jerseys feel better about themselves.  David Clarkson may be one of the biggest free agent busts in NHL history, but the Leafs sure sold a lot of jerseys on the way to making that happen.

Jimmy Vesey, Toronto Maple Leafs (Credit: Nick Turchiaro-USA TODAY Sports)

4. Fringe Players

On paper a fringe player is more valuable than an outright not so good one but with the latter at least you can pretend that you’re being ironic or self-aware (kind of like those fans who wear paper bags over their heads in the stands).

But if you’re watching a Toronto Maple Leafs-Ottawa Senators game sporting a Trent Klatt jersey, seek some kind of professional help.

And if, by chance, you’re actually at that game out in public cheering for the Sens in a Trent Klatt jersey, you must either be a) a member of Trent Klatt’s immediate family or b) Trent Klatt.

The Fringe Player Jersey Owner is sort of like a hipster trying just a bit too hard.  Sure, we all love Pierre Engvall, Adam Brooks and even Scott Sabourin, but unless you know them for real, don’t buy their jersey!

But still, that’s not quite as bad as wearing:

3. A Blank Jersey

Ah, nothing declares an individual’s love of a player like a completely blank, nameless jersey-back. I mean, why even wear this? What’s the point?  Couldn’t you just wear your team’s t-shirt or basic logo or something?

This is like someone who lowers their 1998 Honda Civic and doles it out in 20” tires, a huge exhaust and an obnoxious muffler with black-out tinting. That’s barely a 1.5-litre engine, man. You have about 100 HP in that thing. At least get a V6. Heck, even an Si. Blank jersey, come on. And don’t tell me that money is an excuse. The 60$ spent on tepid Coors lights during the game more than pays for a quick stitch.

2. Own Name

I simply cannot imagine how someone could foster enough courage and confidence to walk around in public with their own name on the back of their jersey.

There is no WAY that that person isn’t insufferable. He’s the guy who started sporting a Tampa Bay Lightning cap in 2018 yet is born and raised in Windsor. He’s the guy in the Nordiques jersey, #69, with McGloskey written across the back. “Hey, McGloskey, put on an Yzerman or a Gilmour jersey. I’d even settle for a Yashin. But your own name from a city you have absolutely no connection to? Come on, McGloskey!”

This one was very close to being #1 but, alas, I fear that nothing is as ridiculous as:

1. Jersey of team not competing

So you’ve seen the Kent Manderville jersey, the Garry Valk, the sad, blank, all-white nameless back, that IDIOT McGloskey, but what about when you went to the Leafs-Habs game and saw someone dressed in green with what looked like a rejected Optimus Prime logo on the front?

Yep, that’s the guy who just had to come out and support the now defunct Hartford Whalers at Sociabank arena in Toronto. Do not mention Hartford or the Whalers or any other retro team and/or logo; all that clown is looking for is attention. A different team jersey should be an automatic ban from the building.

And, say, that person had on a different team jersey in a different sport entirely? That should result in an automatic ban from the building AFTER verbal derision by the public announcer that is recorded and uploaded immediately online for perpetual shame and mockery.

I just can’t imagine wearing something offensive like that.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to press my Lonny Bohonos jersey in preparation for tonight’s Leafs-Habs match.