Metropolitan Division
Carolina Hurricanes: The Storm Surge was cute for a while, but it’s a pretty lame gimmick to default to just to get fans in the seats. You always have David Ayres to hold over Toronto’s heads at least.
Columbus Blue Jackets: Contrary to popular belief, defense doesn’t win championships. Star players do. You guys are a little light in that department.
New Jersey Devils: Isn’t Martin Brodeur still in this organization somewhere? How do you not have a single NHL-caliber goalie?
New York Islanders: Still mad about Tavares leaving? Get used to that.
New York Rangers: As long as Tony Deangelo and Brendan Lemieux are in your organization, you’re always gonna be an unpopular team. Prove me wrong and get rid of those duds!
Philadelphia Flyers: The Kevin Hayes contract is top 5 worst in the league.
Pittsburgh Penguins: Does Jim Rutherford know that trading first-round picks every year is a good way to send a team plummeting to the league basement the moment Crosby and Malkin either decline or retire?
Washington Capitals: You peaked as an organization with that clip of Ovechkin saying “we’re not gonna be ******** this year.”