10 Ways to Get Your Toronto Maple Leafs Fix While There’s No Hockey

TORONTO, ON - JANUARY 12: Andreas Johnsson #18 of the Toronto Maple Leafs celebrates his goal with teammate Auston Matthews #34 against the Boston Bruins during an NHL game at Scotiabank Arena on January 12, 2019 in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. (Photo by Claus Andersen/Getty Images)
TORONTO, ON - JANUARY 12: Andreas Johnsson #18 of the Toronto Maple Leafs celebrates his goal with teammate Auston Matthews #34 against the Boston Bruins during an NHL game at Scotiabank Arena on January 12, 2019 in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. (Photo by Claus Andersen/Getty Images) /
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Toronto Maple Leafs
Toronto Maple Leafs – Darryl Sittler on December 9, 1981 at Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto (Photo by Graig Abel/Getty Images) /

6. Smash Something You Love

There is really only one way to mimic that feeling you get when watching a Toronto Maple Leafs game or following their season. In order to fully replicate it follow the following instructions.

  1. Make something nice. It can be anything: a work of art, a table out of wood, a meal. It doesn’t matter what you choose to make so long as it makes you happy.
  2. Hold on to the positive vibes you’ve gotten from crafting your creation. Look at it and bask in its splendor.
  3. Smash your creation. You may love it but clearly it can’t love you back. It’s only true purpose was to snatch your heart and crush it.

There. Doesn’t that feel more familiar?

Being a Leafs fan hurts. No one tells people this when they sign up but once they commit they’re in for a wild ride.

5. Play Mini Sticks

Get out the mini sticks you have hidden in a box somewhere.

It’s time to smash a vase while trying to stickhandle and shoot your way to a living room victory. In case you’ve forgotten, this is the game that takes place indoors around valuables (preferably not your own) with a hard plastic stick that’s slightly larger than a foot long.

Set up a mini stick tournament with everyone in quarantine with you. It doesn’t matter if others are uninterested, that just makes them easier opponents. Give those knee hockey athletes a lower seeding and put them in the brackets.

Have everyone choose a team to represent just like you did when those mini sticks were new. Arguing about who gets to be Toronto is normal.

Go head to head and see if you’ve still got it. Remember, if nothing of value gets broken, you’re doing it wrong.