A Christmas Gift for Every Member of the Toronto Maple Leafs

Mitch Marner

The gift of an exotic pet and a TFSA

Marner has been a delight to watch on the ice. His creativity and playmaking abilities are among the best in the league. Fans might not know that Marner is and has always been an animal lover. That’s why we got him an exotic animal that he would love to take for walks around Promenade Mall in his hometown of Thornhill, Ontario. We got Marner a pet giraffe.

Unfortunately, Marner’s family home burned down, making keeping such a large animal difficult.  Instead, we are allowing the giraffe named Marleau to live in its natural habitat where Marner can visit her in the offseason.

Since Marleau won’t be around every day, we thought we’d also get the Leafs star a tax free savings account. It’s something he can really use since he signed a six-year extension worth $65.3 million. It pays him $10.893 million per year.

Morgan Rielly

The gift of his face on a bottle of rum and a calling card

Morgan Rielly is the longest-serving Maple Leafs player currently on the active roster. There have been many who believed that Rielly’s leadership and on-ice play made him deserving of being named the captain. Instead, the captaincy was given to John Tavares.

Though he won’t wear a “C” on his jersey, we thought we’d let him see his name associated with the role. That’s why we got Rielly the perfect endorsement deal. Look for his face on bottles of Captain Morgan Spiced Rum. Now Rielly can be Captain Morgan somewhere, though it requires him to dress like a buccaneer.

We have also given Rielly a long-distance calling card. We expect him to use it to connect with his former roommate, Jake Gardiner. Just because Gardiner now plays for the Carolina Hurricanes doesn’t mean the two can’t still say goodnight to one another before bed each evening.

Tyson Barrie

The gift of a couple of trips

We got Leafs defenseman Tyson Barrie a round trip all-expenses-paid week to Bear Mountain Resort in Victoria, British Columbia. We chose the location because we assume that he hasn’t been there since his father was a part-owner and it would be nostalgic.

We’re sending Barrie on one more trip, back to Colorado. To be clear, we don’t want him to leave, but with his contract expiring at the end of the season, it would be best for him. Barrie hasn’t been the same player in Toronto that he was with the Avalanche. Unfortunately for him, his time with the Leafs has likely cost him some money on his next deal.

Though Barrie has subtly indicated that he was stifled by Babcock and things have already improved with Keefe, it still may be best. We’re willing to send Barrie back to the Avs so he can return to the player he was once was and regain his value. This way he can sign the mega-deal he was expecting prior to first suiting up for the Leafs.