The Toronto Maple Leafs Are Not Going to “Orpik” Patrick Marleau

BOSTON, MA - APRIL 23: Patrick Marleau #12 of the Toronto Maple Leafs skates against the Boston Bruins in Game Seven of the Eastern Conference First Round during the 2019 NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs at the TD Garden on April 23, 2019 in Boston, Massachusetts. (Photo by Steve Babineau/NHLI via Getty Images)
BOSTON, MA - APRIL 23: Patrick Marleau #12 of the Toronto Maple Leafs skates against the Boston Bruins in Game Seven of the Eastern Conference First Round during the 2019 NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs at the TD Garden on April 23, 2019 in Boston, Massachusetts. (Photo by Steve Babineau/NHLI via Getty Images)

The Toronto Maple Leafs won’t be bringing back Patrick Marleau.

A respectable, but ultimately sad, portion of Toronto Maple Leafs fans are hoping for a miracle.

Or whatever you call wanting something unlikely to happen when, instead of being fantastic, like miracles usually are, it’s a horrendous idea on par with Michael Jordan taking up baseball and O.J Simpson writing a book called If I Did It. 

That is: it makes no sense, it’s not going to happen, and it’s a horribly bad idea.

Toronto Maple Leafs and Patrick Marleau

Patrick Marleau had a good run.  He’s a likely hall of famer, and he is by all reports a total class act.

He could even catch on with another NHL team.

But he can’t skate for a contender anymore.

An anonymous scout told the Athletic  (taken from this NBC article):

"Still a good two-way player that can skate and thinks the game better than a lot of players. He is probably, for me, more of a second- or third-line guy, but doesn’t look out is place in a top-six role."

Yeah buddy, I wouldn’t attach my name to that either.  “Second or third line.”  I mean, as a quote-unquote “stats guy” I’ve been waiting so long to say this, but DID YOU EVEN WATCH A GAME LAST YEAR??????

That’s fun! No wonder you guys say that all the time.

But here are the facts: despite Mike Babcock literally risking his job to try and utilize Marleau like a top line player last year (playing him just under one minute less than Tavares and Matthews) Marleau performed like a below average fourth liner.

Marleau scored 1.16 points per 60 last year.  That is a lower total than Par Lindoholm.  That’s right – a guy who scored ONE GOAL in 65 games still produced more offense per minute than Marleau did.

Frederick Gauthier ( you know “Good defense, can’t score”) posted a superior 1.48 points per 60 last year.

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Marleau had a negative possession rating relative to his team, and his RAMP defense measurement shows that he actually hurt the team with his terrible defense. (Chart courtesy Evolving-Hockey.com)

There is no shame in not being able to keep up in the NHL at 39 years old. Marleau is legendary and he will go into the Hall of Fame as one of the greatest players of all-time.

But today he is no longer an NHL player.  The Toronto Maple Leafs do not have room on their roster for a player who is worse than Frederick Guathier.  The bottom four spots on the roster will be contested by Ilya Mikheyev, Jason Spezza, Gauthier, Nick Shore, Garrett Wilson, Pontus Aberg, Jeremy Bracco and several more players who are all superior to Marleau at this point in time.

It’s a nice dream, but there is no chance the Leafs bring him back. Not even for free.