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Toronto Maple Leafs: The Roast of the Atlantic Division

By Mike Stephens

LAS VEGAS, NV - JUNE 21: Auston Matthews of the Toronto Maple Leafs poses after winning the Calder Memorial Trophy (Rookie of the Year) during the 2017 NHL Awards and Expansion Draft at T-Mobile Arena on June 21, 2017 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)
LAS VEGAS, NV - JUNE 21: Auston Matthews of the Toronto Maple Leafs poses after winning the Calder Memorial Trophy (Rookie of the Year) during the 2017 NHL Awards and Expansion Draft at T-Mobile Arena on June 21, 2017 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images) /
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BROSSARD, CANADA – JUNE 5: GM Marc Bergevin speaks to members of the media after introducing Michel Therrien as the new Head Coach of the Montreal Canadiens at the Bell SportsPlex on June 5, 2012 in Brossard, Quebec, Canada. (Photo by Richard Wolowicz/Getty Images)
BROSSARD, CANADA – JUNE 5: GM Marc Bergevin speaks to members of the media after introducing Michel Therrien as the new Head Coach of the Montreal Canadiens at the Bell SportsPlex on June 5, 2012 in Brossard, Quebec, Canada. (Photo by Richard Wolowicz/Getty Images) /

Montreal Canadiens

Notable Adds: Karl Alzner, Jonathan Drouin, Mark Streit.

Notable Losses: Andrei Markov, Alexander Radulov, Mikhail Sergachev.

If you’re a Leafs fan, you should thank the hockey gods each and every day for Marc Bergevin’s existence. Why? I’ll tell you why.

Marcy Marc handed nearly $5 million a year to Karl Alzner this summer. Alzner just so happens to be the NHL’s only defenceman who’s actually in decline while still being in his prime. Next, he allowed Andrei Markov, the franchises second highest scoring defenceman, to just walk out the door. Markov responded by declaring that he would rather go to the KHL than ever play for another NHL team. But, who needs loyalty, right? Bon move, Marc.

I have to admit, acquiring Jonathan Drouin was indeed a solid move. He’s good. He’s not a centre, like you guys think he is, but he’s good. Giving up Mikhail Sergachev, the organization’s lone blue-chip prospect, as a return was far less solid. Had he stuck around, Sergachev would have been the only Habs D-man capable of executing a breakout pass. But, Drouin is French Canadian, so none of that matters. Plus belle la vie!

The Habs currently sport an 0-6 record in pre-season play. What’s even more troubling, and by troubling I mean hilarious, is that they’ve managed to find the back of the net just 9 times. So, what move should a team suffering from a serious goal scoring problem make?

Maybe they sign Jaromir Jagr. He did score 27 goals a year ago and, for some reason, still remains unsigned. Or, perhaps they throw a league minimum deal at Jarome Iginla. He may be old, but I’d bet that last seasons’ struggles were mainly a result of him suiting up for the 47 point Avalanche. Gretzky himself would have struggled on that team.

But no, this is Marc’s world. You can take those suggestions and feed them to Youpi. Bergevin’s ace-in-the-hole is actually bringing Chris Neil in on a PTO! I’m sure Neil’s 6 goals will totally solve your offence problem. He’s got grit, after all!

Finally, Montreal offered Alex Radulov the exact same contract he eventually signed with Dallas, and he still left. I don’t have any analysis on that, it’s just really funny.

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